Life

I am wildly independent and very strong-willed. I believe in doing things for yourself and making something out of nothing. (Not that this applies to all areas of my life, nor do I hold anyone else to these same ideas and/or standards.) I am giving to a fault...I hear someone needs something, if I happen to have it, I will gladly part with it. After all it’s just stuff. I love to help people if I am able, and I do not need anything in return. Helping others seems to make me happy. (I still try and figure out why this is.) I have known many people to try and take advantage of this. I do not stand for it that is one of those angry buttons that is easy to push with me. Sometimes I tend to overdo things I take on, because I am capable of doing it well and that still surprises me. I thrive on my strengths and play on them. This scares some, motivates others, and there is a handful that just watches and wonders.
I heard more times this week that I am an Overachiever, more than I ever heard in my life. Actually, I have never heard that. I have been described as Determined, Motivated, Free Thinker, Intelligent, Independent…& a few others. Overachiever? Who me? Never.
Or am I? Turns out they might be right. I looked it up:
“Overachiever: one who achieves success over and above the standard or expected level especially at an early age. The labels are based on a static and incomplete understanding of the nature of intelligence. The ability to concentrate to work in a dedicated manner cannot be separated from a person's "native" or "raw" intelligence in any meaningfully testable way.”
I would not have pegged myself that way, but if I am going to do something, I hate to do it half way. So yeah, guess I am. Not such a bad thing, but still makes me cringe and/or twitch. It is still hard to hear positive and encouraging feedback about myself, a lesson still in the works there. What a big change from what I listened to for so many years. Makes me run for the psychology books even faster! That little hobby is something that has paid off in dealing with a mentally ill (straight crazy) person for nearly a decade. Looking for answers to questions about myself that end up leading more to answer to others reactions to things, and how to deal with them. Mind Fuck MUCH! So very glad that is over and done with! Although, this week added another chapter to what I thought was a finished tale.
It begins with a nice quiet couple of weeks of not hearing from him at all, then the email, quick phone call at work on Monday. Manage to make it to Wednesday afternoon before I had to think anything about it again. Standing in the bank after having to take the worlds latest lunch I'm playing with my droid…Facebook email comes in from a longtime friend (that was friends with both him and I). I knew he had been a good friend and reached out and let ****** stay with him recently, so I have been avoiding any type of contact as to avoid any issues. Well, this was the email of all emails for the day.
“I’m not trying to get you involved nor would I mention your name but ******* in a bad way right now, worse than ever…. he pulled his gun on me over making ****** leave the house i was letting him stay at then proceeded to pistol whip me and rob me.”
So well, just yeah. Standing in the middle of the bank I start to feel sick, of course I threw up. Panic attack much-- a little one. I proceed to leave work and started talking to this friend (to make sure he’s ok) and then hear the whole sordid story… which made me sick again. The basic facts are that people are being threatened and I am slightly in fear of my safety again. Great! Just what I need. So, by Friday after a couple more calls to the officer I have been talking too, I have grounds for a RO, because thankfully the friend called the police and had a police report. This is horrible for my friend (I might add the friend is ok) but shows he’s violent.
Downfall side note to Friday …it was a long day for the amount of time I was at work. I woke up that morning choking on my own coughs and feeling like a truck hit me, I cannot call off because the phones needed to STILL be covered and no one likes to do it (can’t blame them), so I worked half a day, then went to the doctor’s office. Well that was no picnic either, I ended up with three shots in the ass (quicker to feel better I am told) and getting blood drawn. MEH...all around.
I come home to foul emails from him, and I knew he called up to work before I had left. Last straw, after months of stupid harassment I called and had an officer come out and make another report. Only this time, they told me because of his earlier actions in the week, I will get what I need. So any phone calls, emails, or whatever else--he can be arrested for. Thanks goodness! Woo-hoo! There is going to be some sort of fall out when they serve him I know, but that strong willed person will deal. Probably buy another psych book, I still do not understand. Probably never will. People.