It's coming to fruition..

After what seems like my entire lifetime of waiting...it's gonna happen! Surgery! Of the Orthogantic variety.

A little on the surgery... it is a surgery to "create straight jaws" in the literal meaning of orthognathic surgery. It is usually undertaken to improve both the function and appearance of the upper and lower jaws, the teeth and the facial appearance as a whole. Once a problem has been identified a referral can be made and the patient assessed fully by both a Maxillofacial Surgeon and an Orthodontist. This initial assessment will involve a full history and examination. Usually radiographic examination of the of the face and jaws with either x-rays or CT scans, impressions of the teeth and clinical photographs are undertaken for records and for undertaking cephalometrics (skull radiographic measurements).

Once tooth alignment has been achieved, insurance has given an approval, a final surgical plan is made between the maxillofacial surgeon and the orthodontist. Impressions of the teeth are undertaken and the surgeon has developed a surgical plan, the planned surgery is simulated on the models of the teeth. This allows acrylic splints to be made which allow the surgeon to correctly position the teeth at the time of surgery. The surgeon will reposition the jawbones in accordance with your specific needs. In some cases, bone may be added, taken away or reshaped (my lower will be added to, and the upped removed some) Surgical plates, screws, wires and rubber bands may be used to hold your jaws in their new positions. Incisions are usually made inside the mouth to reduce visible scarring; however, some cases do require small incisions outside of the mouth (mine will have 2 small barley visible hole of either side of my head)  

Diagram of the surgery

Quick history on how this all came about...

During my childhood, my teeth were not pretty, at the age of eight, I had my first mouth appliance, and heard the words for the first time " she's gonna need surgery". At the time I didn't know what that meant (I never worn the damn mouth piece anyway...it didn't help) after that, my mother never did put me in braces.  I  was selfish and bitter about this. Her being a single parent, I can understand why now, but boy, the little things that come to make a difference! Enduring the teasing my entire life about being a horse, or a beaver, and a whole other mess of names was brutal. Elementarily and first part of middle school it was "The Beaver". Rest of middle school it was "Mr. Ed the Horse". This was awful,  I mean horribly so, I didn't smile a lot, I had issues trusting people, and was always so sensitive to people teasing me. There was one boy who made fun of me more then any other, Scott Martin (I hate that boy to this day).  High school was not much better, but I grew boobs, so that at least worked in my favor! Looking back though, it was unpleasant. Not to mention the main issues,alignment of the teeth that creates uneven jaw size that bite issues form from (that wear your teeth down, and cause pain), headaches, jaw muscle and jaw joint problems and speech difficulties.

Throughout my later teenage years, and early 20's I saw several surgeons and orthodontists and discussed what my options were. Surprising many of them had different ideas, one thought just braces would fix it (LOL...right), some thought one jaw only needed done, many thought both. Having both jaws done was the way I knew I needed to go, since there is a high chance of relapse when you only work on one. I'm not taking any chances...both or none.  



When in my middle 20's I decided to fully do something about it, I got my first round of braces. I went through all the steps (there are MANY steps) by checking my insurance out, finding the right doctor and a orthodontist that I trusted. I had to wear the braces for 2 years for the alignment of my teeth to be in position for surgery. I did this. Turns out my orthodontist was a flake. Also, with the government pushing health care on us for everyone, and insurance companies making quite a few changes, the insurance policy I had for years dropped me...FAIL! All that planning down the drain for surgery then. So I had the braces removed, had a quick ass smile, and started a new job--one with insurance that I had to wait another year to have the surgery.


At this point, I was having all kinds of dental problems, this is direct relation to how and where I bite down as I chew ( I have like 4-5 different bites) it was destorying my teeth. So I had a huge amount of costly and painful dental work done, and made the choice to try all of this surgery shenanigans again. The braces put on in the fall (again), had a tooth removed, more dental work, and met with a few different surgeons.  Thankfully this time around my orthodontist has rocked, the first surgeon that did my crown lengthening and tooth extraction, couldn't do the surgery as planned. (gotta love insurance), but I found another one after a few more consultations.


So at this very point I received (yay!) the pre-approval from the insurance and I am playing the waiting game for the final surgery date!

Golf ball love...

Basket of pretty golf balls!

The prettiest one of all!

Happiness has been a tough thing to find this year. Learning to relive life again has proven to be an uphill battle at times. I still doubt myself, a lot from time to time, only to realize that doubt is not very necessary. Surprisingly, I have made it to the end of December despite being very ill for most of the month. My birthday was a wonderful time with a company Christmas party being held the same day, surrounded by family and friends. Christmas was a joyous time with many friends and family around to celebrate in a truly wonderful way.  A feeling of love, happiness, and being thankful for everything I went through this year still left me with a smile on face. I made more baskets this year, and they were a hit. It was nice to be able to make people happy and smile with little effort on my part. Just enough to let people know you care. That was the best I could ever get back. The second best gift was GOLF BALLS. A woman whom is like my sister brought me enough golf balls to last me certainly threw several seasons! It was one of the best presents I received. Some had butterflies which is a personal favorite, some say princess (for that ego of mine), and the one I got around my birthday has a dragon fly, and it's purple. I couldn't ask for something better than this. Silly as it may seem, it made me smile all day.

Flowers, flowers & more flowers!

Beautiful Flowers! My favorites!

Pretty anonymous flowers!
"May your day be as wonderful as you are"

 

"More anonymous flowers"

"My favorite flowers"

Nice thoughts from a few people. Roses are my favorite by far. The others are quite nice as well! I really like fresh flowers. The make my office smell wonderful.

My new favorite passion.

On Friday, I took half a day off from work and treated myself to my first round of golf on the course. I have been taking lessons now for just over a couple months, five in total so far, mostly working on my swing and stance. I bought my first set of clubs in July, and went to the driving range like a fiend for most of the summer. There is just something about smacking the hell out of those little balls that makes me feel better. I had not had the nerve to go and play 18 or even 9 holes, as it intimated me to think I would not do well. I moved beyond that though, and came to the realization... I enjoy this, and of course I am going to suck at it the first few times! I am in no way a natural athlete, that skip my dominant genes, but lots of practice has shown me that I, maybe one day can be decent. This is promising. One of the side favorites to all of this, is the cute outfits, to get to drive around the golf carts, and drink--that alone is a fun afternoon!  I made it through all 18 holes with a coworker, and finished with the same ball I started with. This was progress and I enjoyed myself so very much. A new passion turned into a possible love, who would have thought! Some of the new gear helps support breast cancer awareness, even better cause!

Clubs & the cart. I didn't even wreck it!

Hole 18! I made it!

And, I learned about the 19th hole. I like it the best!

Another strong dose of happy.

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” 

What a great weekend! Started off right with a silly company function (only some of us are smarter than 5th graders!)  I got two new pairs of glasses. Sexy librarian...oh yeah! Came home to put together my last bookcase, and all the books are out of the attic. Woo-hoo! Home is starting to look like a brand new place, didn't even have the moving cost. Computer hooked up to the television, easy enough to watch movies w/ netflix, and of course...more Sunny! Just got to find the perfect chair...

Working more and more, always a good thing. Finding a groove and balance is wonderful. Life is settling into something to be proud of, just work, work and more work. I like to work, so not such a bad thing, but still it's work. Cooking and going to Amy's anniversary party was the highlight of the weekend. How can you resist playing with Simon, he is such a sexy fellow. Word is, he sure gets around! Which we all got a little time with him! The baskets as always, were a huge hit. That's always makes me very happy to see someone else smile (or grin).

It was mentioned in passing how comfortable we all have come. This is a great and important thing. Settling into a calmer life, putting the past woes behind us, and moving forward. This is comforting. We can not change the past, we can only learn and choose to  try to be better. I like this. I love my life, my family, the new things I try, and several people that have become family. I like the silliness, I like the intelligence, I like the humor that never stops, but most of all I like being happy. My step-dad says to me last week "I have never seen you happier, I am glad." This made me stop and think. Yep, that's true. I have been plenty happy over the years, but nothing like this. Spending time with a close friend more one on one, was wonderful too. He makes me smile. I like that. Seeing my lovely nieces for a while yesterday reminded me of all the wonderful old friends I have, I saw I am really lucky.

I have dance class tonight. What a great thing to do, something I have always wanted to do. I did it. That has been my motto, "I did it". Words to live by. Wonderful all around. Can always be better, and even worse, but right now. It's wonderful.

Dancing a little dance...

This week it feels like fall. I love it! Something about this time of year with the end of summer, and the promise of the holidays not far off makes me a little more focused on life. So many changes in the works, hard to find the time to do them all, although, they must be done. A biggie is the dancing lessons... Woo-hoo! I finally started...and it was amusing to say the least. I fumbled part of the class, stepped on Phil's toes, but managed to pull it out at the end and get the first steps of the waltz down. Bonus! Open dance Friday night, should be a good time. Light on my toes, I might be just yet. More practice afterward at the bar. HA! Only to crack up, and a reason to have another drink. Hey, after all, someone played me a song and I was in good company! A over-whelming feeling of happiness struck me as I was coming home last night, and all I could do was smile. Been traveling down that long road in memory lane a lot lately, and there are many good ones in there. There are bad, but focusing beyond that is helping. Coming to terms with life is a constant struggle. Wishing others well, even now. I still hope for the best for people. Life is hard enough without wishing bad things on others. If something happens, it is always good to remember it happened, and take what lessons you can from it. Creating new and happy memories has kept me together, and even pushed me forward. Good things come to those who wait. This is for sure.