Remember this...

 
"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."

This is beautiful...it applies to so many things. I think of friendship more than anything else. 

Another point

"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion."

Another mile marker passed today. One that was long on the horizon but seemed forever to reach. I am coming to a point in a journey that has been long awaited for a conclusion. This is a scary, horrifying, and nerve-racking adventure that  I am hoping will have the end results that I want. That being said...many thoughts occurred to me during this whole process, I need to dump out and sort through it...

Perfection seems to be something most people strive for, I am certainly no different. Much like the first bowls of porridge Goldilocks tired, life seems to play out in my own mind that things can be "perfect" in the manner that is close to what I am looking for, but never quite just right.  This used to drive me crazy...enter control freak mode, and learning to deal with the curve balls life throws at you. (not everything is perfect or going to be done your way) I used to stress out and get frustrated, now I can roll with just about anything, if I just have a moment to process the change going on. For me now, pefection in my own life is at least trying be the best I can, and if I fail, but I tried, I can live with that. There are ways I still learn everyday to cope with not being the best I can be all the time...but still have to realize,  I am only human (that is okay to be that way).  I  tend to look at life as a machine with each widget, gear, and cog playing it's parts to make the whole run smoothly. Stable environments, a home, family, friends, activities, job, and maybe someday a husband and kids (or maybe not) these are easy goals. Things I want and should be able to maintain and have. BUT...

Upon serious reflection on my own life. I am coming to terms with a number of unresolved issues, and trying to overcome major insecurities. This not something to tackle all at once...but it helps to think it over some. There are many forms of perfection. I started this writing thinking about looks, but found a little deeper meaning in thinking it over more and relating it to life.

"Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy."